I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
