You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
