Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
