apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Are my feet made of real feet?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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