I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
