I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
