i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
