I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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