if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My dad is sitting where you rode me
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
