Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He did a backflip because drugs
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
