Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
