Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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