she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
