How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
