Your face is a jimmy john
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I am mentally ready for anal.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
