Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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