New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
