Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
