One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
