I love having hate sex.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
