I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
