I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
