Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
