Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
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He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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