So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
