It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
