we're blogging at a bar
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
im six kinds of drunk right now
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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