24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
