I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
