Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
