i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
