Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
