Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
