THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
