he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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