So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
