WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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