Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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