she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
