If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
high people should be assigned attendants
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
