He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize