you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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