Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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