think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
