Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
