We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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