Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
