I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
