don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
