That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize