so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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