I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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