She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
