I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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