we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
