I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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