Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
