i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
