his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
