You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
