just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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