rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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