As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
