She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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