Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You left your phone here
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